PHOENIX, Ariz. (Ivanhoe Newswire) — Middle school is tough for kids and new research shows that it may be even tougher for their moms. An Arizona State University professor tracked moms’ well-being through the development stages of their kids from infancy to college. She focused on moms, not dads, because moms are usually the primary caregiver.
Jen Clausing’s daughter, Jadyn, starts middle school in the fall. She can’t forget how she felt when Jadyn’s sister, Macy started three years ago.
Jen told Ivanhoe, “It was like all of a sudden, she looked older, was acting older, and all of a sudden had bigger responsibilities all within, seriously, two weeks. I remember just feeling completely overwhelmed.”
“There was one stage where everything peaked, the bad things, and the stress, and that was middle school,” detailed Suniya Luthar, PhD, a psychology professor at Arizona State University.
Professor Luthar measured moms’ adjustment during their kid’s middle school years. Overall, these moms scored lower for life satisfaction and higher for stress, emptiness, guilt, and child negative behaviors than moms with kids of other ages. Luthar said moms are unprepared for all of the changes.
Luthar explained, “Suddenly, this child morphs into this weird person who looks at you with distance and sometimes even dislike and scorn. That’s awfully hard.”
Luthar says moms need more support from family, friends, and support groups during and before the middle school years.
Luthar told Ivanhoe, “Imagine what your kids need from you. That is what you need from other people, and that needs to be in place and that needs to be respected, prioritized, and sustained.”
Jen was in one of Luthar’s Authentic Connections online support groups and feels the pieces will fit together better the second time around.
Luthar says husbands and partners can offer good support, but moms need a “sister network” as well. Her Authentic Connections program is one-hour sessions for 12 weeks. She runs the sessions either on video or sometimes in person. See this website for more information: www.authenticconnectionsgroups.org.
Contributors to this news report include: Cyndy McGrath, Supervising Producer; Wendy Chioji, Field Producer; Roque Correa, Editor; Bruce Maniscalco, Videographer.
Produced by Child Trends News Service in partnership with Ivanhoe Broadcast News and funded by a grant from the National Science Foundation.